6 years later

there was an ancient who spoke of magic. there exist many chairs, universally, all fitting into a form, a concept of what it means to be a chair. this works. all chairs fulfill the same functionality, allowing space  on long days to rest and think. this is a simple explanation of life. everything can be put into two groups: what it is and what it isn't.

there exist, still, the search for a point at which all the choices I made were wrong. this is not a chair. there is no room to sit, no space for thought. this is agony. after all completion there is still the thought of remorse, no...love. time moves forward only, not as matters of love.

the highest quality of matters of time are their ability to continue.
the highest quality of matters of love are their ability to continue.



(pause)

wait....i got the shits.

there exist this interesting power dichotomy in contemporary relationships. a man and a women, a girl and a boy, a provider and a providie, a giver and taker...right?

in a an effort to immortalize the value of what we have inserted is an action of over enforcement of portrayal, a "showing off" of how perfect our perfection is. in order to show others how worthy said togetherness is worth we perform a perfection more perfect than that of the most perfect. we lie.

we, if not obviously, is not to be understood to represent a collective decision, for the need for control influences the man/boy/provider/giver. the need to be envied exists from one who dare not wear green cardigans, for the stain burns more than concept of perfection itself. the taker needs not understand the ideal, just work harder to portray such perfection. how much perfection? enough to pay homage to the watching eyes.

the envious fall at the feet of perfection with eager hands and abs of hunger...let us shit on plates.

on proportions

sometimes too much will never be enough.

one more time??

the simplicity commonly experienced in life is the lack of overall control one possesses. the only provable truth of life is its given manner of continuing until end. in short: it goes on.

this would seemingly encourage one to take advantage of the few moments where control is applicable; making choices when they are available. but this, like the variety of control, is rarely the case.

in the times of choice, the common ideal is to flow instead of seize. as life passively passes we empathize in said flow, moving quietly alongside. the act of challenge posts itself as a...challenge. and that would require work, which requires thought (post-secondary), which requires care, thought (secondary), understanding, patience, self awareness, extrovert awareness, and thought (primary). is all that work really worth it?

for happiness, is there a path that requires no understanding, or does one need choice to be happy?

stand back...we are robots

existing has its on little way of reminding one of its lack of autonomy in life. we are notified of eviction just when the road appears to be clear and steady. in "x" days of life, a feeling of control is a constant. Of course this requires not considering those moments where said power is lacking, which seem to come more often than the controlled. 

in regard to understanding, the past seems simpler than the now, tomorrow included. reaching for hands that appear nothing but inches away.

here and now is a time when many men have no agency. we are not acting, just happening. as the moments past more approach with agendas similar to those past.

helpless. yeah that's it. helpless. 

transmission end.

on searching

those in search yearn for beauty.
those who have found yearn for beauty as well.
those who have lost yearn also for beauty.

unfair it may be, for beauty is as noble as the love it eludes.

what do you do...

when you stare in the mirror and staring at you is why they're not here.





 *shouts out to kelly c.